Tuesday, 15 February 2011

Life Is Good

Baby steps, as 'they' say, is my way forward. Doing too much when I'm on a roll, means I 'crash and burn'- and end up spending the next day absolutely knackered! But I am getting better and doing stuff in little sections.

I have been lucky enough to start receiving help from a Support Team. My girl is brilliant and a real inspiration. At last I feel there may be light at the end of the tunnel!

I took myself into town today, for no particular reason. Invariably, I find myself in a corner, having to get out to pay a bill or something. Sometimes this is OK, sometimes it needs a call to someone to explain my 'situation'. For all intents and purposes, if you met me, I would appear 100% and fully-functioning. But that's on a 'good day'. The days of being a 'good day' when I've managed to bring the bins in (!), seem a different Life away, (hurrah), but there is always that shadow of un-nerving-ness, in the back of my mind.

But today, I went into my favourite coffee house. it was fabby. Manuel made my cappuccino and wrote "Nice 2 C U" on the top! How sweet was that? We met years ago when he was a Barista at Nero's. Several years ago he made the break and opened his own cafe, "caffe d'italia". And the rest is history! I haven't been in for ages; I need to feel confident to be there. It is always full of huddles of Italian men (!!), who look like they are Northampton's answer to the Mafia! Well, not really, but you get the gist! Don't get me wrong, they are all friendly, keep themselves to their selves. But, still...

It was the same with swimming. I used to go really often, but then the hotel got loads of 'gas men' and the pool would be full of blokes, lolling around in the jacuzzi forever! I ended up going less and less and then not at all. So, having got there last week, there are no more 'gas men' and I do love going there. Not a lot of swimming, per se, but lots of moving around in the water. And the jacuzzi!
So, hurrah for me! I'm sure there will be 'blips' but that is all they are. Blips! Go Zo(e)!


  1. I think i have missed a few posts about your story, but well done for today ;-)) I used to suffer with panic attacks due to my meniere's disease and that was very hard. Have a lovel week, dee x

  2. Well done Zoe!! Really glad to hear that things are getting a bit better for you.

    Manuel sounds like a lovely chap :)

    I feel your pain re the leery men in the swimming baths. I went a bit earlier than usual last night and there were hoards of them. I'm blind as a bat without my specs so I get totally paranoid that they're all pointing and laughing at me!

  3. I’ve been out of the loop for a bit. Sorry I didn’t realize you were struggling. I’m sending you lots of bloggylove and will keep you in my thoughts & prayers. Hope that the light you see at the end of the tunnel gets brighter and brighter. Thinking of you!!!